Ethan McNamee – nine year-old gay-marriage advocate
Posted by Mathew | May 22, 2009 | No Comments
Young Ethan McNamee – just nine years old and a third grade student at Montclaire Elementary School in Denver, Colorado – has done what most third graders wouldn’t even conceive of doing: organising a public rally on the steps of the Colorado state capitol building. His topic was two-fold, and not what you would normally expect of a nine-year old: marriage equality and equal protection for the gay and lesbian community.
As the reports go, young Ethan is the neighbour of a lesbian couple who had first given him the idea of organising such a rally. Having been told by his neighbours that they were not allowed to marry because they were of the same sex, Ethan took it upon himself to speak out for the gay and lesbian community. With the help of his school teacher, and as part of a communications assignment for his class, Ethan managed to coordinate a modest – though impressive, for his age – sized rally (approximately 200 people) in Denver city on Saturday May 16th, campaigning for marriage equality for gays and lesbians.
One thing is very clear – Ethan believes that there is indeed an injustice and an inequality in the traditional definition of marriage (which defines it as a union between one man and one woman). In support of the view Ethan advances, he mentions in his speech, “I don’t understand why people seem to think that Civil Unions are the same as marriage … In Civil Unions you don’t get the same benefits. So that if your partners dies, you don’t get their social security money.”
Now, in response to Ethan’s speech and his effort to coordinate such a rally, those of us who continue to speak against same-sex marriage must be careful: Ethan is a nine year old boy. His arguments – while they are honest and sincere and delivered with a conviction that is to be respected – are not that advanced. And by that I mean that they do not address the complexity that is the same-sex marriage issue, nor the many reasons given by advocates of the traditional view of marriage.
The arguments of most same-sex marriage advocates tend to ignore the fundamental reasons why Christian groups and other conservative organisations oppose the gay marriage movement. Predominantly, the pro-gay marriage arguments revolve around the notions of unfair discrimination, homophobia, religious bigotry, unequal rights, that love is all that is required for marriage, and that people should be able to choose who they wish to marry, irrespective of gender.
That homophobia is wrong is agreed on by both sides of the gay-marriage debate. Simply hating someone for their sexual preference does reek of intolerance and such attitudes do need to be addressed and not tolerated in the schoolyard (where Ethan first experienced them) or the in the context of wider society. Holding placards that read “God hates fags” is most definitely bigotry, and biblically unfounded. Equal rights should be afforded in terms of entitlements to a partner’s assets and visitation rights and the like, but really should stop short there. Love is not the basis for marriage – the state doesn’t care whether or not married couples love each other – so this is a poor argument in favour of same-sex marriage.
But there are solid reasons why traditional marriage should be upheld and these reasons should not appear as discrimination against same-sex couples. Without a doubt, the chief reason for protecting marriage as the lifelong relationship between one man and one woman is the family.
Families are what marriages are for. Within marriages, families are nurtured, have the emotional and financial support that they require and as such families provide the most basic block of any civilisation. Families are responsible for building society and for propagating society. Therefore, the State has a vested interest in ensuring that the particular protections and benefits afforded to the family unit through marriage are maintained because the State would cease to exist if families ceased to exist.
Marriage is for procreation – by design, by nature and as a rule. Same-sex marriages – by design, by nature and as a rule – cannot procreate. In order for same-sex marriages to have children, the State must provide them children. But decades of studies conclude that children do best when they are brought up by their biological father and mother or, in the absence of either biological parent, by a household which is headed by a married, opposite-sex couple.
It is in the best interests of children that marriage should remain between one man and one woman. It is in the State’s best interest that marriage should remain as between one man and one woman because the children of such a union become the next generation, and it will be a generation who have had the distinct, healthy, natural exposure to the nurturing affirmation of both a father and a mother.
This is where Ethan’s speech becomes little more than a brave show by a confident young man who strongly believes that injustice should be addressed and dealt with. But the battle does not lie within the gay-marriage debate. It really doesn’t. It lies within people’s prejudices and it lies within the gay and lesbian community to acknowledge that traditional marriage does have its place and that they, too, should fight to uphold it.
All of this is not to be disparaging to Ethan – I want that to be clear. The ideas and reasons he offered in his speech could not address the more complicated matters concerning the gay marriage debate by virtue of having only a brief, four-minute statement on the topic and for the fact that he is still quite young.
Yet I echo the same sentiments uttered by Colorado State Senator Shawn Mitchell, that “You have to admire his compassion and initiative. I’d like to think that someday he’ll understand the issue is a little more complicated.”
Yes. Like Ethan, many, many others still need to learn that the issue is really much more complicated than most make it out to be – and yet, they have the advantage of being older and better equipped to fully understand just what is at play: our families and our nations and our futures.
A video of Ethan’s speech, as well as a transcript of his speech, can be viewed in a previous post: Third grader organises and speaks at a pro-gay marriage rally
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Tags: culture > Ethan McNamee > family > homosexuality > marriage > ssm
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