Abstinence at the movies
Posted by Mathew | February 7, 2010 | 2 Comments
The recent media attention on the issue of sexual abstinence of the past two to three weeks – which I wrote a commentary piece on over at The Aristophrenium – led me to watch a movie that I would not have ordinarily have watched. Not 15 minutes into the film I was beginning to regret watching it – I wasn’t expecting it to be as crude and as base at it actually was. In hindsight, knowing our culture and the way in which it views sexual topics and issues, perhaps I shouldn’t have been so surprised. In any case, I got the kids off to bed and settled down with my wife to watch The 40 Year Old Virgin.
I’ve come to enjoy Steve Carell’s performances – albeit, my exposure to him has been a little limited: I’ve never watched The Office and there’s only three other movies that I can name him in (actually, four, now I think about it). Seemingly an understudy for Jim Carey (who’s acting I never cared much for, but Ace Ventura is a worthy mention), I was much endeared by Steve Carell’s role in Dan In Real Life, whimsically amused at his Moses character in Evan Almighty and impressed with his straight-faced portrayal of Maxwell Smart in Get Smart. Watching him in The 40 Year Old Virgin was therefore somewhat of a shock – especially in the hair-removal scene (at which any hairy-chested man would wince at) where his language was a flurry of unending obscenities – but it was clear that his character was, overall, a pleasant stark contrast to those others in the film.
To sum up the plot of the movie is pretty simple – most anyone could deduce the entire story line from the film’s title alone: a single guy, never married, has never had sex; his colleagues (who are three ravenous womanisers of a high order) make it a pact to get him “laid”. And the awkwardness of the lead character while subject to this pact becomes the focal point of the first half of the movie.
For me, The 40 Year Old Virgin – if you can stomach the crass sexualised language – did for sexual abstinence much like what the film Juno did for the pro-life cause – surprisingly, it praised it. Or at least, it gave the audience due pause to consider it as a viable notion. For this reason, while the film starts out poorly it finishes as it should with Steve’s character, Andy, losing (or should we say, “giving away”) his virginity on his wedding night.
With that spoiler out of the way (I’m assuming that since the film is five years old now, you may have already seen it), it was only half way through the movie that my wife made a startling observation: Andy’s work colleagues – whom, we learn, have been, currently are, or intend to be, promiscuous in their sexual dealings – are jealous of Andy’s (seemingly accidental) virtue.
It’s this strange contrast between Andy and his colleagues that plays out for the remainder of the movie. He ignorantly, yet with hesitation, goes along with the “advice” his colleagues give him on what he needs to do to “cure” his virginity. Yet all along it becomes very clear to the audience that Andy is the most content with who he is – he finds the sexualised lifestyle of his friends somewhat uncomfortable and undesirable; for him, sex is about something much much more than what his friends make it out to be. As the movie progresses, we find his friends are increasingly unhappy with their choices – and it’s there that it becomes clear they are envious of Andy. In retaining his virginity, he has not become subject to the vices of pursuing sex with a reckless abandon as they had – failed relationships, relationships of dependancy, regret, dissatisfaction and discontentment with current relationships and an unfulfilling yet insatiable quest of sexual philandering.
No, Andy’s character brings to the screen something we rarely see in movies: being a virgin is ok and remaining abstinent is achievable and can heighten and intensify the courting process – solidifying the relationship – when both partners are willing participants.
As I wrote in my “Abstinence arouses displeasure” article, Bristol Palin I think understands the value in abstinence and Tony Abbott realises the long term value it can bring to the marriage bond.
Whether this was the intended emphasis of the movie, I am not sure; but it does, much like I implied with Juno, open the way for parents of mature teens who watch the movie to discuss the topic with them and to point out to them that sex, in it’s proper context, is something worth waiting for.
And that’s something of which any Biblical Christian would agree is worth discussing.
If you haven’t seen the movie and are now curious, please do be aware that the language and sexual themes are really strong and very frequent throughout.
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Tags: abstinence > culture > love > sexuality > Steve Carell
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February 8th, 2010 @ 5:32 pm
huh interesting.. I guess if the movie is on at someone's house or on TV I might sit down and watch it then. From the previews it looked every other sex filled movie out there!
February 8th, 2010 @ 8:49 pm
Ah, yeah – it's one of those bargain basement movies: definitely not worth the cash at the cinema, nor worth the full price of a new release DVD, but is something you snap up for $5 as an ex-rental.